A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the nights special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.”The chicken sounds good; Ill have that,” the woman says.The waiter nods. “And the vegetable?” he asks.”Oh, hell have the fish,” she replies.
A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by theMaitred that there will be at least a twenty minute wait.”Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?”, he says.The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, “Whatll it be?”The man replies, “Give me a Stoli with a twist.”The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles andsays, “Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs . . . “
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didnt pay for your sandwich!”The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey man, Im a PANDA! Look it up!”The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant hed enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, “You know, its been over five years since I first came in here.” “Youll have to wait your turn, sir,” replied the harried and now irritated waiter, “I can only serve one table at a time.”
An American tourist was lunching in a restaurant in China where the specialty was duck. The waiter explained each dish as he brought it to the table. “This is the breast of the duck; this the leg of the duck; this is the wing of the duck; etc.” Then came the dish that the American knew was chicken. He waited for the explanation. Silence. “Well?” he finally asked, “Whats this?” The waiter replied, “Its a friend of duck.”
At which fast food restaurant is a hamburger happiest?
Arthur Treachers Fish and Chips!
At our local restaurant you can eat dirt cheap – but who wants to eat dirt?