A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
Age considers; youth ventures.
Age is an ugly thing, and it goes on getting worse.
At my age flowers scare me. (more…)
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Always forgive your enemies – Nothing annoys them so much.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (more…)
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.
By the time you read this you’ve already read it.
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
I never admit or deny anything it makes me more interesting. (more…)
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.
A rich man’s joke is always funny.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying. (more…)
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. (more…)