Funny Junk » Funny Movie And TV Jokes

A Movie Producer Is Lying

admin — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 05:23:33 +0000

A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. “Howd the meeting go?” asks the first guy.”It went great,” says his buddy. “Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million.”"Fabulous,” says the guy by the pool.”Theres just one catch,” his partner warns.”Whats the catch?”"We have to put up ten thousand in cash”.

After A Difficult Day A Struggling Actor

admin — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 03:18:35 +0000

After a difficult day a struggling actor returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find a cadre of police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house. Explaining who he was he asks “What happened?” “Well,” one of the officers says, “It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground.” The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief… “My agent came to my house?”

After A Venerable Career Of Endless

admin — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:17:34 +0000

After a venerable career of endless, stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime and preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he unexpectedly dies and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate. “So sorry about your untimely death,” he tells the director. “But God himself has called you home. You see, God wants you to direct a movie for Him.” The great man is humbled, “God wants ME to direct a film?” “Yes,” St. Peter tells him. “And weve arranged to have the best of everything made available to you. For example, the script is by William Shakespeare.” The director is stunned, “An original screenplay by William Shakespeare?” “Yes,” St. Peter assures him, “And its his greatest work ever.” “Wow!” says the Director, awe struck. “Your Production Designer will be Michaelangelo. Weve got Leonardo Da Vinci d oing the sets, your musical score will be an original work by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and your cast includes a young Laurence Olivier and the greatest actors of all time in supporting roles.” The Director cant believe it. “This is incredible,” he says. “This will be the greatest movie ever?” St. Peter kind of shuffles his feet. “Well,” he says, “we do have one tiny little problem.” “Problem?” says the director. “What kind of a problem?” St. Peter puts his arm around the directors shoulder, “Ya see,” he whispers, “Gods got this girlfriend…”

An Actor Went To See A New Agent One Day

admin — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:03:04 +0000

An actor went to see a new agent one day and said, `You must have a look at my act, it really is innovative.So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the room a few times and landed smoothly on the agents desk.`So you do bird impressions, said the agent, `what else can you do?