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A Drill Sergeant Had Just Chewed

admin — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 08:06:17 +0000

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die youll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army Id never stand in another line!”

Draftee Went in For His Physical Wearing

admin — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 08:04:27 +0000

A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt.Afterward a friend borrowed the truss to wear for his physical. At the end of the examination the doctor stamped M.E. on his papers.”Does that mean Im medically exempt?” he asked.”No,” answered the doctor. “M.E. stands for Middle East. Anyone who can wear a truss upside down can certainly ride a camel.”

A Destroyer Pulled Into a Foreign Port

admin — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 07:34:53 +0000

A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didnt notice a chimpanzee, escaped from a nearby civilian transport, crawled up the ropes and up to the smokestack. Down the stack, it made its way into the engine room. It came across a power panel opened up for maintenance, couldnt read the warning signs, and with a bright blue blast shorted out the ships electrical system, and plunged the ship into darkness. A little bit later, two junior Hull Technicians wander down with their flashlights, looking for the problem. They come upon the blackened body of the chimp. They shine their flashlights on its long, burnt arms. They look at each other. They highlight its short legs and odd feet. They look at each other. Finally one says, “Well, its too hairy to be an Electrician, the legs are too short for a Hull Tech, and there would be more tatoos on a Bosu n. Call the wardroom, see if one of the duty officers is missing.”

Funny Letter By Soldier

admin — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 08:10:19 +0000

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
“Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry.
Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky…………..”

The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope…. along with this note:
“Dear Becky,
I’m so sorry, but I can’t quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Ricky”

A General Noticed One Of His Soldiers

admin — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:59:44 +0000

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, “Thats not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, “Thats it.”

A General Calls a Colonel

admin — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:56:12 +0000

A general calls a colonel:- Do you have a couple of smart majors?- Yes I do.- Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.

A Drill Sergeant

admin — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:02:55 +0000

A Draftee Went In For His Physical Wearing a Truss

admin — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:01:01 +0000

A Destroyer Pulled Into a Foreign Port

admin — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:44:43 +0000

A Maintenance Battalion in Germany

admin — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:29:55 +0000

A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded to issue new SOP directives (Standard Operating Procedures) that WOULD be followed under all circumstances. One of these directives was that NO ONE over the rank of Staff Sergeant would drive their own vehicle, that was what the lower enlisted were for. One morning, the Master Sergeant in charge of the S-2 shop of the battalion had an intel report that was due at Division Headquarters within the hour, and his clerk, a PFC, was off that morning because of duty the night before. The Sergeant felt that he had no choice, the report HAD to get to Division; so he got into his Jeep and started to Division Headquarters.As he got to the gate, the XO stopped him. In a very sarcastic voice he said, “Arent we paying our drivers a lot these days?”The NCO, without missing a beat re plied, “Not at all, Sir, when you consider what we are paying gate guards.”