Funny Jokes | Short Funny Jokes | Really Funny Joke » Funny Judge Jokes

The Judge Said to His Dentist

admin — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 06:58:17 +0000

The judge said to his dentist: “Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.”

Judge What is Your Relationship

admin — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 06:56:25 +0000

Judge: What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Mr. Schneider Stood Up in Court

admin — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 06:54:56 +0000

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. “As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money.” Glaring down at him, the judge replied, “He’s not. I am. You do.”

Judge Are You Married

admin — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 06:53:04 +0000

Judge: Are you married? A. No, I’m divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A. A lot of things I didn’t know about.

The Defendant Stood Up in The Dock

admin — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 05:23:47 +0000

The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, “I dont recognize this court!” “Why?” asked the Judge. “Because you’ve had it decorated since the last time I was here.”

The Judge Admonished The Witness

admin — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 05:20:44 +0000

The Judge admonished the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?” “I do.” “Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?” “Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”

The Judge Asked The Defendant

admin — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 05:19:26 +0000

The Judge asked the defendant, “Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” “I do.” “Now what do you say to defend yourself?” “Your Honor, under those limitations… nothing.”

The Cross Eyed Judge

admin — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 05:18:10 +0000

The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, “So how do you plead?” “Not guilty” said the second defendant. “I wasn’t talking to you” the judge replied. “I never said a word” the third defendant replied.

At Night Court a Man Was Brought In

admin — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 05:16:32 +0000

At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.” The defendant said, “I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.” The judge winced and said, “Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!”

A Lawyer Passed On And Found Himself in Heaven

admin — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 05:30:38 +0000

A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven,but not at all happy with his accommodations.He complained to St. Peter, who told him that hisonly recourse was to appeal his assignment. Thelawyer immediately advised that he intended toappeal, but was then told that he would be waitingat least three years before his appeal could beheard. The lawyer protested that a three-year waitwas unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears.The lawyer was then approached by the devil, whotold him that he would be able to arrange an appealto be heard in a few days, if the lawyer was willingto change venue to Hell. The lawyer asked: “Why canappeals be heard so much sooner in Hell?”The devil answered: “We have all of the judges.”