A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a hilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, “What are we going to do?” “Nothing,” said the hunter husband. “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”
A big-game hunter came across a dinosaur in the middle of the jungle and stared at it surprise.”Youre extinct,” he said. The dinosaur was hard of hearing.”What was that you said?” The hunter shouted at the top of his voice.”You are extinct.” The dinosaur looked a little nonplused. “So would you if youd been dead for six milion years.”
A Cowboy was going deer hunting.. His blonde wife said she was going with him.. That they never did anything together.. So, they went.. He put her in a stand by herself.. Later in the morning he heard her shoot.. He went over to her stand and she was pointing her rifle at a guy with a cowboy hat on.. The guy was telling her, Mamm, you can have the deer you shot.. I just want to take my saddle off of him!
A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting, and an emormous bear runs up and in a single gulp devours one of the hunters. Miraculously, the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in the belly of the grizzly.The other hunter runs back to town and organizes a rescue party which heads back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears, etc.Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and everybody starts shooting at the bear thats closest to them.”No, not that one,” shouts the surviving hunter, “Thats the female.”"The Czech is in the male.”
A group of hunters fully equipped with rifles, ammo and camping supplies, came upon a young boy armed only with a slingshot. “What are you hunting for?” asked an older hunter. “I dont know. I aint seen it yet,” said the boy.
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “when did you bag him?” The host said, “that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.” “Whats he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My wife.”
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders senta message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give himits hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture towait for the lion.In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.”What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?” asked the chief.”Forget the damn lion!” he howled. “Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?”
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, “Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself.” The reporter said, “Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same.” The old explorer said, “No, not then – just now when I went ROARRRR!”
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”"I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He cant swim.”
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew b