A Religious Man Is On Top

A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says “get in, get in!” The religous man replies, ” no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.”Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause “God will grant him a miracle.”With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down.” St. Peter chuckles and responds, “I dont know what youre c omplaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter.”

An Accountant Dies And Goes To Heaven

An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He is met by St Peter who goes through the usual questionnaire. “What sort of accountant are you?” says St Peter”Public Practitioner,” is the reply.”Name?”He gives his name. St Peter goes through some files and pulls one out.”Oh, yes. Weve been expecting you. Youve reached your allotted span,” says St Peter.”How can that be?” says the accountant. “Im too young to go. Im only forty-eight”"No, thats impossible. “”Why do you say that?”"Well weve been looking at your time sheets and the hours youve charged your clients. By our reckoning youre at least ninety three.”

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