Funny Junk » Funny Heaven And Hell Jokes

A Cattleman from West Texas

lucky — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 05:41:49 +0000

A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, “Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas.”"The gatekeeper replied, “First of all, Im not Saint Peter and second, you really dont know where you are at all, do you ?”

A Cat and a Mouse Died

lucky — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 05:40:21 +0000

A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them How do you like it so far? The mouse replied Its great, but can I get a pair of roller skates? God said Sure, and he gave him a pair of roller skates. The next day God saw the cat and asked him How do you like it up here so far? and the cat replied Great, I didnt know you had meals on wheels up here!

A Director Arrives

lucky — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 07:39:53 +0000

A Director arrives below and is met by Satan who shows him around. Turns out that Hell is a gigantic movie studio with the latest and best equipment, stages, great actors, etc. Director thinks its great and asks Satan what heaven is like if hell is this good. Satan says heaven is exactly like this, a movie studio. The Director is confused. “Then whats the difference,” he asks. Satan smiles. “Well, in heaven they actually *make* movies.”

A Cattleman From West Texas

lucky — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 07:56:29 +0000

A Cat and a Mouse Died

lucky — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 07:54:34 +0000

A Cattleman From West Texas

admin — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:03:34 +0000

A Cat And A Mouse Died

admin — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:00:44 +0000

A Doctor An Engineer

admin — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:51:35 +0000

A doctor, an engineer, and a fungal taxonomist arrived at The Pearly Gates.The doctor said how hed healed the sick, helped the lame; but he was a sinner and was sent to Hell.The engineer told how hed built homes for the homeless, etc.; but he messed up the environment, so he was sent to Hell.The fungal taxonomist was frightened by all this, but as soon as he mentioned his occupation, God said “Youve already been thru Hell, Welcome to Heaven.”

A Director Arrives

admin — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 05:12:57 +0000

A Famous Professor

admin — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:17:06 +0000

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret? Yes, the professor ansvered. When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not se it so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now. Well, said the gatekeeper. That is a very minor sin. You may enter. Thank you very much, Saint Peter, the professor ansvered. Im am not Saint Peter, said the gatekeeper. He is having his lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas.