Why Don’t Ghosts Make Good Magicians

Why don’t ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks.

What Did One Ghost Say to Another

What did one ghost say to another? I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe in people.

Why Are Haunted Houses So Noisy

Why are haunted houses so noisy in April? That’s when the ghosts do their spring screaming!

How Did the Ghost Song and Dance

How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in television spooktaculars.

Did You Hear About The Ghost

Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go round with the oooo-ver.

Which Ghost Sailed The Seven Seas

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

What Did the Mother Ghost Tell The Kid

What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play? “Don’t get your sheets dirty!”

Why Was The Ghost Always Running

Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ? She was trying to get ahead !

One Night After Closing Time

One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks “yeah, what do you want?”. The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice “I’ve lost my tail…… and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back-on”. At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog….. “Sorry, but we don’t re-tail spirits at this time of night”.

A Butler Came Running

A butler came running into his important masters office. “Sir, sir, theres a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?” Without looking up from his work the master said, “Tell him I cant see him.”

A Man Was Staying In a Big Old House

A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said, “I have been walking these corridors for 300 years.” The man said, “in that case, can you tell me the way to the toilet?”