Funny Junk » Funny Farmer Jokes

Time For Pig Joke

lucky — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 05:42:29 +0000

On a drive in the country, a city slicker noticed a farmer lifting a pig up to an apple tree and holding the pig there as it ate one apple after another.

“Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about,” said the city slicker, “but if you just shook the tree so the apples fell to the ground, wouldn’t it save a lot of time?”

“Time?” said the farmer. “What does time matter to a pig?

A Clergyman Walking Down a Country

lucky — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 07:37:36 +0000

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.”You look hot, my son,” said the cleric. “why dont you rest a moment, and Ill give you a hand.”"No thanks,” said the young man.”My father wouldnt like it.”"Dont be silly,” the minister said.”Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water.”Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, “Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and Ill give him a piece of my mind!”"Well,” replied the young farmer, “hes under the load of hay.”

A Bus Load of Politicians Were Driving

lucky — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 06:56:27 +0000

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmers field.Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, “Were they all dead?”The old farmer replied, “Well, some of them said they werent, but you know how them politicians lie.”

A Bus Load of Politicians

lucky — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 06:49:23 +0000

A Big City Lawyer

lucky — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 06:44:16 +0000

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The ranchers prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldnt resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, “You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldnt have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went thr ough your ranch that morning. I didnt have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!” The old rancher replied, “Well, Ill tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning.”

A Big City Lawyer

admin — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 06:35:22 +0000

A Bus Load Of Politicians

admin — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 08:19:05 +0000

A Clergyman Walking Down a Country

admin — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:31:56 +0000

A Farmer Was Milking His Cow

admin — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 07:04:13 +0000

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cows ear. The farmer didnt think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

A Farmer Was Interviewing

admin — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 07:02:49 +0000

A farmer was interviewing a young man for the job of assistant farmhand.`Youll need to be fit, said the farmer. `Have you ever had any illnesses? Any accidents?No, sir, replied the young man proudly. `But youre on crutches. You must have had an accident! said the farmer.`Oh, the crutches! said the young man. `A bull tossed me last week. But that wasnt an accident! He did it on purpose!