A Boy With An Elephant
A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, “You know you really need help”"Yes I do”, said the elephant, “get this kid off my foot !”
A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, “You know you really need help”"Yes I do”, said the elephant, “get this kid off my foot !”
Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white, they would be aspirins.
Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ? He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines !
What is stronger an elephant or a snail ? A snail, because it carries it’s house, an elephant just carries its trunk !
How do you fit five elephants into a car ? Two in the front, two in the back and the other in the glove compartment !
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it’d be very difficult to aim.
Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very powerful? Well, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin the air for hours at a time !
Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to yield right of way.
Bill:”My homework is really difficult tonight, I’ve to write an essay on an elephant.”? Bert:”Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder..”
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants’ star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants’ goal when the Elephants’ left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?” The elephant replied, “Well, I didn’t mean to kill him — I was just trying to trip him up.”
Tarzan was tired when he came home. “What have you been doing”, asked Jane. “Chasing a herd of elephants on vines” “Really ?”, said Jane. “I thought elephants stayed on the ground !”
How do you get three elephants in a taxi?
One in the front next to the driver, and two in the back.
How do you know there is an elephant in your house?
There’s a taxi outside with two impatient elephants.
How do you know there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
There’s a taxi outside it with two impatient elephants.
And what if you don’t notice the taxi?
There are footprints in the butter.
How do you get an elephant into the refrigerator?
Open the door, put in the elephant, close the door.
How do you get two elephants in the refrigerator?
Open the door, put in the first elephant, then put in the second elephant, then close the door.
How do you get six elephants in the refrigerator?
Put three elephants in a taxi, put three elephants in another taxi, then put the two taxis in the fridge.
Why are there so many elephants running loose in Africa?
Not enough refrigerators.
Why do ducks have flat feet?
For stamping out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
For stamping out flaming ducks.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
For spitting on burning elephants.
Why do elephants walk on four feet?
Because if they flew, you could never keep your car clean.
How do you kill a blue elephant?
Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a red elephant?
Strangle it till it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a green elephant?
Tell it a dirty joke until it blushes and turns red, then strangle it until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a yellow elephant?
What are you talking about? There are no yellow elephants!