A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the floor, yet in the morning the jailers find him gone. How did he get out ?Through the doorway – there were no doors remember
A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the floor, yet in the morning the jailers find him gone. How did he get out ?Through the doorway – there were no doors remember
A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy, Having heard what happens to geeks in prison and being nervous he figures he had better introduce himself, He extends his hand and says with a quivering voice, Hi my name is John Smith.The big guy who actually is a nice guy extends his and says my name is Turner Brown.The geek passes out. The big guy fans him and brings him too. Why did you pass out he asked? The geek replies, what did you say your name was? Turner Brown he replies. Oh God the geek says I thought you said “TURN AROUND”.
Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen? Criminal: It wasn’t when I took it.
A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car… Who is driving the car? A police officer!
Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I answered an ad that said, “Make money at home.”
Criminal Why don’t you hire these twins for the robbery, boss? Criminal Boss: I’m afraid of a double-cross.
Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they took everything except the soap and towels. Harry: The dirty crooks.
What is the difference between a thief and a church bell? One steals from the people, the other peals, from the steeple.
Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is orange and 9ft tall, and the other green and yellow and 2ft Gin tall. The police are searching high and low for them.
The criminal mastermind found one of his gang sawing the legs off his bed. “What are you doing that for?” demanded the crook boss. “Only doing what you ordered,” said the stupid thug. “You told me to lie low for a bit!”
When the school was broken into, the thieves took absolutely everything – desks, books, blackboards, everything apart from the soap in the lavatories and all the towels. The police are looking for a pair of dirty criminals.
Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you’re planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to anger him.
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, “Son, do you have a last request?” To which the man replied, “Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play The Macarena for me one last time?” “Certainly,” replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, “Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?” “Please,” said the condemned man, “kill me first.”
A mafioso’s son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, “Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new…” He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, “Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new…” He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother’s room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, “Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again…”