A Naughty Child
A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. “Hey kid,” he shouted. “Why dont you go outside and play?”
A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. “Hey kid,” he shouted. “Why dont you go outside and play?”
A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lords prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us some E-mail, Amen.”
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, youre so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, “Bud.”
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?” As the shopkeepers heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that hes on her level, and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?” She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, “I dont fink my pet python weally gives a thit.”
A schoolteacher was trying to teach her six-year old class students how to say the pledge of allegiance to the flag. The schoolteacher said, O.K. children begin by putting your hand over your little heart and repeat with me, I pledge allegiance to the HOLD IT! HOLD IT! Johnny, why is your hand over your butt cheek instead of your heart? Johnny relied! I cant. Teacher asks, why not? Well you see, when my ant comes over to pick me up and pats my bottom and says, BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART!!!!!!
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.She asked, “Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?”Her grandson replied, “You know grandma, its like on TV, The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.”
A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but towed to safety in Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard. “I always knew God would take care of us,” said the composed five year old daughter of the boat owner after the family got home. “I like to hear you say that,” beamed the mother. “Always remember that God is in His heaven watching over us.” “Oh, I wasnt talking about THAT God,” the five year old interrupted. “I was talking about the COAST God.”
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. “Whats the matter Johnny?” asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: “that man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home…I just want her to stay with you guys.”
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. “How did that happen?, ” gasped her mother. “It wasnt easy,” admitted the young lady, “but three girls helped me catch him!”
Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt. I feel with my hands Miss !
Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt. I feel with my hands Miss !
As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball.”Is this yours” he asked”Did it do any damage” asked one of the boys”No” replied the minister”Then its mine !”