How Can You Tell
How can you tell if an elephant’s been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream.
How can you tell if an elephant’s been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream.
What do you give a nine hundred pound gorilla for his birthday? I don’t know, but you’d better hope he likes it!
Cat: “What did you get him for his birthday?” Dog: “Pant . . . pant!” Cat: “Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!”
“Did you go shopping for my birthday present?” “Yeah, and I found the perfect thing.” “What thing is that?” “Nothing!”
Man l: “I got my wife a VCP for her birthday” Man 2: “Don’t you mean a VCR?” Man 1: “No, a VCP . . . Very Cheap Present!”
Good news! I’ve been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don’t get the bowl until my next birthday!
I’d like to say something nice about you as it’s your birthday. Why don’t you? Because I can’t think of a single thing to say!
“Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.”
Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again. How can you be so sure? I was 10 years old yesterday.
Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn’t figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type ‘Happy Birthday’
Fred Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It’s a great present but I just can’t find the words to thank you enough.
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Harry: That was a kind thought. But why didn’t you? Fred: I couldn’t find one big enough for your nose.
Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum’s too frightened he’ll break it!
First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No, I’m having a witch do. First boy: What’s a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.
Helen Mum, do you know what I’m going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what ? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But I’ve got a nice teapot. Helen: No you haven’t. I’ve just dropped it.