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My Boyfriend Says

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:26:59 +0000

“My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!”said Miss Conceited. ”Then he’s right said her little brother.”Sophia Loren?” “No-spaghetti!”

Fred Telling Me He is Going To Marry

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:25:16 +0000

Fred keeps telling me that he’s going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And you’ve been engaged for such a long time!

Little Boy Came Running

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:23:26 +0000

A little boy came running into the kitchen. ‘Dad, dad’ he said, ‘there’s a monster at the door with a really ugly face’ ‘Tell him you’ve already got one,’ said his father

I Went To The Beauty Parlor

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:21:13 +0000

First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh, what did you have done? First witch: Nothing, I was just going in for an estimate.

Julie Had Broken Off

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:16:04 +0000

Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. ‘I thought it was love at first sight,’ said Julie. ‘It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.

Monster I’m So Ugly

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:14:12 +0000

Monster: I’m so ugly. Ghost: It’s not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.

Little Johnny And His Mother

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:12:24 +0000

Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother’s ear. ‘Johnny, how many times have I told you,’ said his mother, ‘ it’s rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.’ ‘OK, said Johnny, ‘why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch ?’

I’m Not Ugly I Could Marry Anyone

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:10:18 +0000

I’m not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that’s the problem – you don’t please anyone.

Mrs Wrinkly Tried to Have a Facelift Last Week

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:08:28 +0000

Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to? Mrs Saggy: Yes, they couldn’t find a crane strong enough to lift her face!

Two Teenage Boys Were Talking

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 05:06:32 +0000

Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, ‘I took my girlfriend to see ‘The bride of Dracula’ last night.’ ‘Oh yeah,’ said the other, ‘ what was she like ?’ ‘Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs.’ The other said, ‘Yes, but what was ‘The Bride of Dracula’ like ?’