Funny Junk » Dirty Jokes

A Couple Was Having Some Trouble

lucky — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 07:34:49 +0000

A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to amarriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning andlistening, the counselor said that he had discovered the main problem.He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug.He looked at the man and said, “This is what your wife needs, at least oncea day!”The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, “OK, what time do you wantme to bring her back tomorrow?”

A Couple Just Got Married

lucky — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 07:52:21 +0000

A couple just got married, and when the husband went back to his househe found that his bride had disappeared. He got very worried andgathered up all his friends to search for his wife with no success.Two days after his wife disappeared the man returned home to find herin the kitchen. He asked her what she has been up to and why she hasntbeen home for so long.She replied:”These four men kidnapped me and had wild sex with me for a week.”The husband answered:”But its only been two days what do u mean a week?”"I am only here to get something to eat

A Couple Decided

lucky — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 07:47:36 +0000

A couple decided that the only way to have a quickie while their ten-year- old son was in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and let him give a running report on what was going on in the neighbourhood. So the boy stood on the balcony and reported on everything that was happening. “A police car has just called at the Hamiltons house, the Chandlers are taking delivery of a new wardrobe, and the Mitchells are having sex.” Hearing this, the boys parents shot bolt upright. “How do you know the Mitchells are having sex?” “Because their kid is standing on the balcony too.”

A Bus Stops and This Old Lady Gets Off

lucky — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 06:51:11 +0000

A bus stops and this old lady gets off and complains to the driver: I was sexually harassed, and the driver thinks nothing of it; the bus comes to another stop and another old lady gets off and complains to the driver: I was sexually harassed and the driver thinks nothing of it, then the bus comes to another stop and this old man gets off and says to the driver “I lost my taupe and thought I found it twice then realized mine is parted down the side, and the two I saw were parted down the middle!”

A Big Fat Housewife

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 04:41:31 +0000

A big fat housewife is on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor, when she suddenly yells to her husband, “Come here quick, Charlie! Im paralyzed! I cant get up!” He comes in, takes a look, and says, “Stand up, you silly old bat. Youre kneeling on one of your tits.”

A 90 Year Man Finally

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 04:33:29 +0000

A 90 year man finally gets to see a Dr. and the dr. asks him what the problem is, the man says he wants the Dr. to lower his sex drive. The Dr. is taken aback a bit but finally asks the man, just how old are you? The man answers I am 90. The Dr., still a little confused says you are 90, and you want your sex drive lowered? Yes said the man, its all in my head and I want you to lower it.

A Blonde Is Suffering

admin — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 07:04:19 +0000

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says “Open wide.” “I cant” replies the blonde, “the chairs fitted with arms.”

A Blonde Arrived For her First Golf

admin — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 06:32:17 +0000

A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how shed do. The blonde did so and competely duffed the shot. The pro said “Your swing is good but youre gripping the club too hard – grip the club gently as you would your husbands penis.” The blonde took another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards straight down the fairway. The pro said “That was excellent! Lets try it again only this time take the club out of your mouth.”

A Bus Stops

admin — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 08:20:52 +0000

A Girl Brings a Guy Home

admin — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 06:04:31 +0000

A girl brings a guy home one night. They get into her apartment and immediately she suggests that they do “69″. “What the hell is that?” asks the guy. Realizing hes inexperienced, she tries to explain,”I put my head between your legs and you put your head between mine.” Still not knowing what shes talking about, but not wanting to ruin the moment he agrees to try it. The second they get in to the position, she lets go a rip-roaring fart. “What was that for?” he asks. “Oops! Sorry, lets try it again.” she says. So, they get into position again, and once more she lets one loose. The guy gets up and starts to put his coat on. “Wait, where are you going?” she asks. The guy says, ” If you think Im sticking around for 67 more of those, youre crazy!