Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning.
Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor.
Doctor: You do?
Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!
Does your brother keep himself clean?
Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.
Mom: Joe, time for your medicine.
Joe: I’ll run the bath then.
Mom: Why?
Joe: Because on the bottle it says “to be taken in water.”
Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please?
Porter: I can give you a room, but you’ll have to wash yourself.
Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in?
The plumber said, “Would you like a plug for it?”
The idiot replied, “Oh, I didn’t know it was electric.”
Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off?
Igor: Yes, I hate it.
Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again! I’ve invented the square tub . . .
I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath.
Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.
The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him, “Will it be alright if I have a bath while you’re having your lunch?”
“It’s okay with me lady,” said the plumber, “as long as you don’t splash my sandwiches.”
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap?
Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I’d drunk the bath there wasn’t room for medicine.
Boy: Dad, dad, there’s a spider in the bath.
Dad: What’s wrong with that? You’ve seen spiders before.
Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!
A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. Can you give me a room and bath? he asked the clerk.I can give you a room, the clerk said. But youll have to take the bath by yourself!
Adam: How did Mummy know you hadnt had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.
Are you going to take a bath? No, Im leaving it where it is.