The Defendant Stood Up in The Dock
The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, “I dont recognize this court!” “Why?” asked the Judge. “Because you’ve had it decorated since the last time I was here.”
The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, “I dont recognize this court!” “Why?” asked the Judge. “Because you’ve had it decorated since the last time I was here.”
The Judge admonished the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?” “I do.” “Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?” “Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
The Judge asked the defendant, “Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” “I do.” “Now what do you say to defend yourself?” “Your Honor, under those limitations… nothing.”
The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, “So how do you plead?” “Not guilty” said the second defendant. “I wasn’t talking to you” the judge replied. “I never said a word” the third defendant replied.
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.” The defendant said, “I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.” The judge winced and said, “Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!”
What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill? It bucked!
Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread? It was a crusty steed!
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He’s not a star though, he just does bit parts!
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn’t have enough money tabaccer!
Why did the boy stand behind the horse? He thought he might get a kick out of it!
What is the slowest racehorse in the world ? A clotheshorse !
You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
Why is an egg like a young horse? Because it can’t be used until it’s broken!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air ? A seahorse !