Did You Hear About The Chicken
Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons? “He wanted to be a hentertainer.”
Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons? “He wanted to be a hentertainer.”
What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that’s always telling you how busy it is!
What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way ? She was tickled to death !
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls (bagels, get it?).
What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ? ‘Dad, dad, look what marma-laid’ !
What do you get if you cross a giant, hairy monster with a penguin? I don’t know but it’s a very tightfitting tuxedo.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ? “You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours !”
Look at that speed!” said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads. “Hmph!” snorted the other. “You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!”
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude. He was constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, he did anything he could think of. Nothing worked. When he yelled at the bird, the bird got worse. If he shook the bird, the bird got madder and ruder. Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David’s extended arm and said: “I’m sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions, so I ask for your forgiven ess. I will try to correct my behavior.” David was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had changed him when the parrot continued: “May I ask what the chicken did?”
How many ducks would there be, if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two ducks, and two ducks behind two ducks? Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a row.
If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs? None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all.
What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands? He brought it to school and said, An Ape-lle for the teacher!
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, “If you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?” Quickly he replied, “If it was you who asked, I d still have 4 apples.”
A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California’s apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, “How much are yer apples?” “All you can pick for one dollar,” said the rancher. “Okay,” said the Pennsylvanian. “I ll take two dollars worth.”